When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
