smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
