Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I want her autograph on my taint
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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