I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
