Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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