We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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