My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
