I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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