When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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