I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
