wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize