I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
