did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
