3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
