I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have aggressive nipples.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
