I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
