hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
