so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
