Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
