It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
