Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dear god my vagina.
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