My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
