wrigley field is MILF paradise
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
