can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize