I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
