bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
