never play flip cup with pint glasses
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
