I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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