the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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