Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
