we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
