It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
