So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
handjob tips. give me some.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
