peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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