wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
