we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
