I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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