the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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