I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize