Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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