Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
