so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
