i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
