I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
