If i come over, it means nothing
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
oh god the rape fog is back!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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