Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
