I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
