Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
