I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
