haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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