If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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