Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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