i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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