curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
