Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
