you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
