Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
