Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The feeling are messing with the penis
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
