Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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