A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
