he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How naked do you want me to be?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
