I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
