i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
