Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
