Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize