hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
