All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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