the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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